He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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