then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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