@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
