Me. At least after what I've been through.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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