So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
