I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
