Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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