Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
