I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Randomize
