I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
