is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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