There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
