Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
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