I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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