You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
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