No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
