talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
