this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
