All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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