why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
