just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
