i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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