I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Dear god my vagina.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Randomize
