Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize