Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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