you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Randomize
