Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize