i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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