I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
