Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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