we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
