they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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