Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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