i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
