just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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