Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
