I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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