Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
