sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
