Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Randomize
