6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
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