I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
