i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize