I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
