He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
