It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
