i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
