To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize