you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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