like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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