your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
