At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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