Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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