Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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