He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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