So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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