I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
