shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
