I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
