Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
as a side note pls kill me
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
