Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Randomize
