In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
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