we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
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