marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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