If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
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