i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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